The Circle of Knowing

Share-All wandered out into the yard. So much time had passed while she was painting that the sun hung tentatively to the sky, just about to let go. She searched the quasi-darkness for someone, anyone to tell her what to do next.

She heard murmurs coming from near the tree. The little slaves were holding hands and slowly walking around the tree. Unable to hear their words, she came closer. They were singing a plainsong chant made up of sounds, perhaps, words, although she didn't recognize them. They circled first one way, then paused with their heads bowed, then back the other way. Their movements were slow and reverential. They didn't look at each, nor did she feel that they were looking at the tree. Eyes open, they seemed to see nothing. They moved with deliberate, almost ponderous solemnity.

The sun set while the children moved and Share-All watched. In the greasy grey that was left, the children broke their ring and moved towards her. Merciful spoke, "It is time now for dreaming. Do you want to dream alone or with others?"

Share-All saw their expectant faces and responded, "With others, I think."

"Then walk with us to the place of dreaming."

Share-All waited until the slaves had passed her. For a moment she watched them walking somberly in the dusk. So small! So young! So earnest! She tagged along behind them to the back door of the house. Silently they entered. Candles lit the way through the cooking room and the long room. A candle stood outside the white door of the room where she had had her bath, another outside the room where they had carried when she fell ill in the garden. She looked to her right into the room where she had painted. In the twilight she saw that her paintings had all been picked up.

When at last the children came to the end of the hall, they entered a very large circular room with windows everywhere. In the middle of the room on a very low table were seven candles also in a circle. In the center of them, was a very tall taper, three times the size of the others. Next to the table was a plump burgundy pillow trimmed with gold cord with gold tassels at the corners. JeSuis was sitting upright on the pillow.

Around the walls were pallets, one beneath every window. As they lay down, it became apparent that there was only one pallet left which Share-All assumed was for her. How did they know that she would choose to be with them rather than alone?

JeSuis spoke into the stillness. "Share-All we are pleased to have you with us. As you can see, there is a pallet for each. You may use the one which belongs to Desire." The slave moved to the empty spot. "Then they think she's coming back!" she thought, "They have kept her place here, like the painting room."

JeSuis began the humming sound that she had made while Share-All stroked her. The little slaves lay down and one by one, each of the seven candles went out. Soon Share-All and JeSuis were the only two awake. The humming stopped and JeSuis spoke softly to her, "Dream safely in the Circle of Knowing." The cat circled on the pillow, laid down and went to sleep.
Share-All, too, lay down but did not sleep. By now the moon was shining brightly into the room, illuminating the outlines of small bodies. The taper's flame danced, reflected in the seven windows. She watched the cat's chest rise and fall. Turning on her back, she watched the shadows produced by candle on the ceiling. So much had happened today, so many strange things. But before she could remember any of them in detail, she fell into a very deep sleep.

In her sleep, she dreamed of Somewhereland. She saw her mother BitterTears and father MustFail sitting with her brother MustStay at the table where they ate their meals. There was empty setting beside her mother for her first brother, MustGo, the baby who had died shortly after he was born. But that was very long ago, she thought, very long ago. Why would they set a place for him? She didn't know how she knew but she did know that the empty place was not for her.

Then she dreamed of a strange woman who gave her a cookie. She took the cookie from the woman's hand and the dream began to twist. The woman became a wicked witch and the cookie poisoned. Share-All tried to drop the cookie but it wouldn't fall. She tried to spit out the piece she had bitten off and couldn't. Her body began to writhe. The witch's body grew taller and taller, thinning and twisting into the shape of a snake. Her head transformed to the head of a snake and began to spit curses on her. If only she could get away, get home! She fell off the steps to the witch's house and began crawling toward her mother and safety. The closer she got to her mother, the louder the curses became.

She awoke with a start. The seven candles were once again lit and the little slaves were each sitting up on their pallets staring at her. JeSuis, too, sat very straight on the burgundy pillow facing at her. The slave avoided looking directly at the cat, sliding her eyes around the circle. She noticed that Merciful had wetness streaming down her face. The longer they watched her and were silent, the more uncomfortable she became. "It's not my fault!" she thought. She was sure she had not cried out while dreaming. She learned that early in her life. In fact, she had taught herself not to remember her dreams, in case she would cry out involuntarily upon remembering. "So why are they staring at me? I know I've done nothing wrong."

Time passed slowly like the clouds lit by the moon outside the windows. The taper flickered. They waited. The little slaves intent on vigil and Share-All determined to resist them. At last JeSuis spoke. "It's not yet time." There were murmurs from the little ones. Gifted spoke in low tones to Merciful alone, "It is time. We gain nothing by waiting." Merciful replied just as quietly, "Knowing is a circle. We don't have agreement. We will have to wait as JeSuis said."

The cat stretched itself making bizarre shadows behind it on the wall and across the faces of two little slaves Share-All did not know the names of. "Let's lie down again and dream. May we all be safe this time in the Circle of Knowing," spoke the cat and she began to hum.

Share-All was the first to lie down, glad that the ordeal was over. One by one each of the seven candles was extinguished. Finally, the slave, too, slept but this time without dreams.